Explosive Evolution! Greymon
The Birth Of Greymon |
Macho Duck: A lot of the voices are improving as the actors get settled into their roles, except for Gabumon, whose completely inappropriate voice makes itself increasingly obvious. If you can believe it, though, the latter have of this episode is nearly spot on with the dialogue, save for a few exceptions. The first half is filled with the kids trying to murder each other with their words, but once the battle with Shellmon begins, the script is nearly perfect. This episode was written by Michael McConnohis and John Ludin. |
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Gomamon: "Fish Bait!" I have no idea if this is what Gomamon actually says. It's "fish" and then a monosyllabic word. Taichi: "We were saved..." Tai: "Wow, this is some ride." Bloody ungrateful bastard. Yamato: "That really helped us out..." Matt: "I knew we'd be okay. I wasn't worried." [Matt: By the way, did anyone bring a spare set of pants?] Jou: "What was that with the fish just now?" Gomamon: "That was 'Marching Fishes'! While in their home, I can control those guys." Joe: "What was that, a floating fish market?" Gomamon: "Lucky for us those fish were having a school reunion! Hm-hm~! I'm kidding. Those fish are good friends of mine and I just asked them for a lift." By yelling out "fish bait"? Who was supposed to be the ba-- OH SHIT WHERE'S T.K.? Jou: "I see! So you're the one who saved us!" Joe: "A-and all these years I thought I was allergic to seafood! Thank you!" You're thanking him for exposing you to an allergen? How is this line supposed to make sense? |
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Taichi: "Evolved? What does that mean?" Agumon: "It's all because we Digivolved!" Tai: "I don't think that word's in my dictionary." I don't picture you having many words over two syllables in your dictionary, Tai. Agumon: "I couldn't evolve by myself; I evolved when Taichi needed help." Agumon: "You see, digivolving is a very difficult process. In order to be successful, I had to share your energy." It's not called sharing when you take it without permission, you little soul-sucker. Sora: "Eh? So, Piyomon also..." Piyomon: "Yep!" Sora: "I guess you guys don't run on batteries..." Biyomon: "Sure don't!" Living things don't run on batteries?! So that's why my cat wouldn't take Duracell! Koushirou: "So it's the same for everyone?" Tentomon: "That's right!" Izzy: "But how do you access my energy?" Tentomon: "Even we don't know everything!" That sounds kind of suspicious to me. Hell, this whole accessing-someone-else's-energy-without-consent deal sounds dodgy. Palmon: "It was to help Mimi!" Mimi: "Even if you say it was to 'help' me..." Palmon: "Thanks for my magical powers!" Mimi: "The whole thing makes my head spin..." Now it sounds like substance abuse. Takeru: "Can you change more and go back?" Patamon: "Um... maybe..." T.K.: "So I helped you change; that is so cool!" Patamon: "Yep... sure is..." The nervous look on Patamon's face is hysterical in the English version. Jou: "I still don't understand this..." Gomamon: "We don't understand it well, either." Joe: "My folks warned me about strangers." Gomamon: "I'm not a stranger, Joe. I'm your friend for life!" [Gomamon: "Now GET IN THE VAN!"] Jou: "We should go back and wait for the adults to come help us." Joe: "If only there were a payphone nearby! We could call the police or the fire department or my mother..." Yamato: "It's not that simple getting back up there..." Matt: "I say we forget about going back and explore around here!" Jou: "We should try to find a path somewhere." Yamato: "But where is here? No matter how you look at it, this isn't near the camp." Koushirou: "He's right. The plants around here look tropical." Joe: "I'm not exploring anywhere! I say we stay right where we are!" Matt: "Yeah, and let that giant bug come get us. We need to find a road leading someplace to get away from here!" Izzy: "Without a compass, we don't even know which way is north!" Man, this is backwards. Jou wanted to find a road (Joe wants to sit in the middle of nowhere), Yamato was standing around shooting down other people's ideas and being generally unhelpful (and yet, Matt manages to be more annoying than that...), and Koushirou was saying something pertinent (Izzy never says anything even remotely useful, and if he sounds like he might be, he loads it up with language obtained from word-of-the-day toilet paper). Jou: "I'm telling you, there has to be a path to get back!" Joe: "I shouldn't wear these pants. They ride up when I do a lot of walking." That's nice, Joe. Yamato: "This place is dangerous, isn't it?" Matt: "Those monsters don't scare me!" [Matt: "That reminds me: thanks for the pants, Mimi."] Sora: "That's true... it's called 'File Island', they said." Yamato: "Is it really an island?" Sora: "It's creepy... and dangerous... and... what happens when it gets dark?" Matt: "Who says it ever gets dark here?!" Okay, Matt? Seriously. Your mom. Koushirou: "I haven't heard of it." Izzy: "That phenomenon would be unnatural." Okay, Izzy. Seriously. You fail. It's completely natural for planets to have multiple suns or be too far away from any stars and have no noticeable difference between day and night. You made it four minutes into the second episode before your failure became obvious, though, so I guess that counts for something. Yamato: "Should we go and look?" Sora: "Yeah." Matt: "Let's water ski home!" Sora: "Oh, funny." You tell him, Sora! Oh yeah, how do you like being schooled by the only character bitchier than you are, Matt?! Joe's statement about waiting for a camp counselor was actually very close to his original line, but he threw in a part about hiding in a cave. Jou: "This definitely isn't Japan, where are we?" Yamato: "We don't even know what these 'Digital Monsters' are..." Joe: "Whatever they are, they're aggravating my hay fever." Matt: "Hey Joe, is there anything you don't complain about?" Matt, what kind of example are you setting for your brother? No wonder your mother separated you two. Koushirou: "'Digital Monsters'... 'electric monster'?" Tentomon: "We're usually called 'Digimon'." Koushirou: "If you're digital, why don't you use electricity?" Tentomon: "Eh? Electricty? Here: *sparks*" Izzy: "'Digital Monsters'... exactly who came up with that name anyway?" Tentomon: "Just call us Digimon; we like that!" Izzy: "I only ask because your composition isn't at all machine-like." Tentomon: "O RLY? *yarly*" Mimi: "Palmon, you look kind of like a plant, don't you?" Palmon: "Yes. I can do photosynthesis, too." Mimi: "Great! Do it, do it!" Palmon: "... Mimi, do you understand what photosynthesis is?" Mimi: "I don't really know. What is it?" Palmon: "Well, I don't really know either." Mimi: "Palmon, I've been meaning to ask you: who does your hair?" Palmon: "It's natural! I wake up in the morning like this!" Mimi: "Oh, wow! Maybe you could let me work with it!" Palmon: "Do you think you put too much emphasis on appearance?" Mimi: "Well... honestly I've never really thought about it." Palmon: "Honestly, I kind of like my hair the way it is." ["Our curtain opens as Palmon, having just finished her morning bath, is searching for her hairbrush. Having no success, Palmon cries out..."] Taichi: "There are a lot of different kind of Digimon, aren't there?" Tai: "Once I get back, this is going to make one great story!" [Matt: "Who says you're going back?!"] [Sora: "Shut up, Matt."] No dialogue. T.K.: "Let's build a giant sand castle!" Mimi: "Ooh... I forgot my bathing suit!" Matt: "Hey wait, listen! What's that?" >.< Mimi, you were at summer camp in the middle of the woods. Your bathing suit was obsolete. Agumon: "What's wrong, Taichi?" Taichi: "It stopped." Sora: "What are phone booths doing out here?" Koushirou: "It's absurd!" Agumon: "Why'd it stop ringing, Tai?" Tai: "Wrong number? Sora: "Well that's bizarre." Izzy: "My theory is aliens! They set these phone booths out as a trap!" Damn aliens coming into our country and trapping us with phone booths... Yamato: "But these look like regular phone booths to me..." Matt: "If we can find a place that delivers, let's order pizza!" DAMNIT, MATT. Mimi: "Maybe there's a city nearby." Mimi: "Whatever you get, no anchovies for me!" DAMNIT, MIMI. Unlike Yamato, you were actually useful in the original. Yes, I said it. Yamato hasn't done anything yet except sit around and either piss on the other kids' ideas or make trite observations. Mimi at least pointed out that maybe phone booths = nearby city. She was wrong, but it's better than, "Yep. These are definitely phone booths. They've got phones and everything!" Jou: "Then that means... we ARE in Japan?" Gomamon: "Japan? Jou, what's that?" Jou: "... I guess it isn't after all." Joe: "So that people can call their parents for a ride home!" Gomamon: "Parents? What exactly is a parent?" Joe: "That's it, I'm out of here!" This exchange isn't actually bad if you consider the context and the fact that Saban doesn't want to admit that the kids with Japanese names live in Japan. Koushirou: "Oh, in that case, I have a TeleCard." Izzy: "Ah, use my phone card. The aliens can bill me." Phone cards don't work that way! Originally, the kids wanted to call their parents (you know... to come help them or... let them know where they are...). In the dub, T.K. wanted to find quarters in the slots, Mimi wanted to call her daddy, Matt wanted to call collect (what an asshole!), and Sora called dibs on booth four. The phone recordings were very similar in the Japanese version (Mimi's was actually dead on!). The real stupid diaalogue in this scene was Izzy's statement that it was an "alien joke". |
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Digimon Uncensored does not condone the act of going blind or cracking one's own skull with furious wall-beatings in fury at giant walls of text. Why not take a break for a few minutes? Don't worry, the comparison will still be here when you get back!    
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Mimi: "I have one on my bag, too!" Mimi: "If anybody's got a pink one, I'll trade!" Poor, poor Mimi. Why did Saban have to choose your brains to feast upon? Izzy states that he has a digital camera with him in the dub. Why he has to lie to feel better about himself, I don't know. Mimi: "Oh, candy! It looks good. You aren't part of our camp group, are you?" Takeru: "Right, I came for summer vacation to play with my big brother. Right, big brother?" Yamato: "Yeah." Taichi: "He called Yamato 'big brother'..." Koushirou: "They must be related." Mimi: "Wow, look at all those goodies! Why don't you be a good little boy and share with your sweet Mimi?" T.K.: "Aww, you don't have to be nice, Mimi; I'm happy to share! You're the best. (to Matt) Isn't she cute?" Matt: "Forget it!" Tai: "I'm so hungry I could eat a horse!" Izzy: "I'd settle for a small cow." In lieu of relevant and important, character-developing dialogue, we have a failed paedophilia attempt followed by a failed match-making attempt and an allusion to Tai and Izzy's barbaric eating habits. Of course, since Tai spoiled Matt and T.K.'s relationship in the first episode, I guess listening to two young boys dicuss which quadrupeds they prefer to slaughter and eat raw will have to work. Motimon, now's a good time to offer yourself up. Sora: "Mimi, what do you have with you? Your bag's pretty big." Sora: "Mimi, what you got you in that big bag, some hairbrushes and make-up?" OH, YOU WHORE. It's on now! Mimi, in the Japanese version, knew what everything she was carrying was. In the dub, she seems to not know what most of it's for. Yamato: "You've got some serious survivor stuff." Mimi: "I was going to a real camp, so I took some of papa's tools. Eh-heh, it's a secret!" Matt: "Why didn't you tell us you had a compass back when we needed one?!" Mimi: "I thought it'd be kind of fun to see how far we could get without on! Besides, it's broken." Poor, poor Mimi... Yamato: "But I don't know if those will be useful from now on." Sora: "Right. I don't know at this point." Taichi: "Right? It seems like it." Matt: "Although we could use the cooking fuel to make a signal fire!" Sora: "That's true. Or I uess we could barbeque some telephones!" Tai: (referring to Joe) "Oh boy. Check out the genius!" DAMN, what an asshole! Jou: "Huh? I can't come over there right now." Joe: "Hey! Don't you know it's rude to interrupt someone while they're on the telephone?" I know! Jerks. Palmon: "He said 'Mimi'." Mimi: "Eh?" Palmon: "Think he likes ya!" Mimi: "No way!" In the original, they had enough food to last six people three days (remember, Takeru wasn't originally with their group). In the dub, it's seven people for three days. Gabumon: "We're fine. We'll find our own food." Gabumon: "Not a... problem... at all! We... digimon HUNT and forage for... ourselves!" That's it. I'm writing all of Gabumon's English dialogue in a William Shatner voice. It's far more entertaining this way. |
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Joe: "Attacked by two Digital Monsters in the same day! And doesn't Shellmon know I'm allergic to shellfish?" |
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Anyway, attack names changed! Agumon: Baby Flame --> Pepper Breath Gabumon: Petit Fire --> Blue Blaster Piyomon: Magical Fire --> Spiral Twister Tentomon: Petit Thunder --> Super Shocker Patamon: Air Shot --> Boom Bubble [17 July 2008] Gomamon: Marching Fishes -- > Fish Power (no, it's not really 'Fish Bait'. XD It just sounds like that to me when he says it in this episode.) Palmon's was the only retained attack. |
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Greymon: Mega Flame --> Digi Nova Blast |
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Matt: "And let the monsters beware!" Of your screaming? I'll let them know. Jou: "I'll go along with everyone else, then." Joe: "Well, my plan is to avoid all monsters. Yep! That's my plan." It's working so far. Everyone yelling out "DIGIMON!" when the screen stills is stupid. Seriously, that's like yelling "GERBILS!" when you leave to go to school. Narrator: "So, the seven children began walking into the unknown world of adventure." No dialogue. |